Friday, January 25, 2008

stimulus package

Sure, I could use 600 bucks just for being an understimulated American consumer.

I'll spend it on updating my porn collection. After all, subsidizing your sex life is a $10 Billion industry - and whats more American than watching other folks get it on?

Or perhaps I'll put it towards the $4745 its costing each individual tax payer to destabilize the Middle East.

Of course, I really shouldn't buy another bike - but you should. What would be better than putting that $600 towards driving less and getting more exercise? I promise that we will in turn use your money to make your neighborhood bike shop better. I will drink more coffee from the Coffee Exchange, buy more vintage clothing from Into the Wardrobe, rent foreign films from Acme Video and stock up on supplies at Adler's Hardware. Each one of these businesses is locally owned by a neighbor and a friend. Get to know them and support them at the same time.

Keep the stimulus local to help arouse the local economy.

1 comment:

Brendan said...

Hey Jack, if you're into old clothing I've got a pile of used weasel squeezers you can have for $600. I might even wash them just for you!